You Know You’re a Children’s Librarian When…

Yes, I am a writer and an aspiring author, but the first thing I ever aspired to, for as long as I can remember, is being a children’s librarian. If you read my home page, you know that I have achieved that dream in a big way when I graduated with my Master’s in Library Science (MLS). Yes, that is a real degree and yes, to be a “librarian” many libraries require you to have it. But long before I was even accepted into the graduate program, I worked as a shelver in a children’s department of a public library, then a clerk, and finally as a full-time outreach librarian. I’ve been living a bit of the dream for a very long time (9 years off and on to be exact, and counting), and during that time I’ve seen and done things I never thought I would see or do. I thought I’d provide a small glimpse into the life of a children’s librarian.

So, you know you work in a children’s library when…

~you laugh at the wildly popular yet misinformed statement “libraries are quiet”, because your workplace is usually anything but.

~someone asks you who wrote the Froggy series and you answer without needing to think, “Jonathan London.”

~you have daily moments of nostalgia when you encounter books you loved as a child.

~some uninformed person says “it must be nice to sit around and read all day” and you have to bite your tongue hard enough to draw blood to keep from saying “the only reading I do at my job consists of picture books for storytime and this afternoon I spent two hours cleaning up vomit in the play area and another two hours navigating the database and collection looking for appropriate books for a patron according to the evil that is the Lexile measurement while keeping an eye on everything else because the cops were in here looking for a criminal who escaped into the library so stop talking, you know nothing about working with the public or my job”

~you feel like you’re living in a Hydra–whenever you put away one book, two more appear in its place.

~you start answering your personal phone by saying “Youth services, this is ___, how may I help you?”

~your daily routine consists of watching children’s rhymes on YouTube and you go home with the most annoying and repetitive song about pigs playing in your head. Not to mention Baby Shark.

~you internally scream at half of the picture books you read and rhymes you find on YouTube wondering how on earth this is for children because most of them are SO CREEPY.

~after someone calls in and asks you what the capital of Bulgaria is and you transfer them to Information because you have no idea, you turn to your coworkers and say, “You can ask me who wrote the Diary of a Wimpy Kid series, but don’t ask me what the capital of Bulgaria is.”

~you’ve spent a week taking Buzzfeed quizzes at your desk to find questions for a teen trivia program and whenever someone walks by you have to shout “IT’S FOR WORK, I PROMISE.”

~your mind is blown when you realize Cam Jensen is not only a girl, but her real name is Jennifer.

~by the end of the summer, even as a book lover you’re tempted to say “I’m so tired of books!”

~a 7th grader asks you out on a date to Burger King after your presentation about the library

~you get to spend your lunch hour trying out the new Nintendo Switches, because someone has to help the kids figure out the controls.

~you’ve prayed “Please, God, let it be water damage” when an item comes back in the bookdrop very wet.

~you have a long, dynamic list of all the incredibly creepy and disturbing picture books you’ve come across

~you’ve spilled homemade butter all over your nice work pants because you were churning your own butter for a Magic Tree House Program and the jar broke and butter splattered everywhere

~if you don’t see your pre-teen patrons on a daily/regular basis, you start to really worry and wonder if they’re eating properly and if they’re okay.

~just about every day you see an adorable baby or an insanely cute kid and want to take them home!

~when someone talks about Beverly Cleary or Donald Sobol you say “I love their books!”, but when someone talks about Nicholas Sparks or David Baldacci, you say, “Who?”

~you love your job, even at the most trying of times.